Barrel Bikers (Buckingham) Mcc

Things I've learned from my children

The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:" Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding)"

  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house 4 inches deep
  2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite
  3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room
  5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way
  6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan
  7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late
  8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it
  9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies
  10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old
  11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence
  12. Super glue is forever
  13. No matter how much Jelly you put in swimming pool you still can't walk on water
  14. Pool filters do not like Jelly
  15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do
  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes
  17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and are very expensive to remove
  18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is
  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on, plastic toys do not like ovens
  20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes
  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy
  22. It will, however, make cats dizzy
  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy
  24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing
  25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid